PESSIMIST

a typical one

till now haven found anyone like me

i dunnu wad is a blessing in disguise

i just look at the present

and say OH DAMN SHIT

and think that future is shitter

thats wad happening now

worse still

i cant stand making myself more miserable

so i cause trouble for others

hmmmm

some ppl call this straight-forward

speaking out our mind

and well everyone tells u it's a good thing

"WOW u are not fake !!!"

"u are being urself !!!"

YEAH RITE

then why are u shunning away

when i say wad i doesnt want in my view

arent i suppose to be protecting myself

when nothing gets into ur way

u gladly use me

when i just voicing out a tiny bit of opinion

u giving that kind of look

i am the one thinking too much ?

wad i am saying is reasonable

not that u will lost anything

just make sure everyone gets their best thing

since i can cooperate with u

doing stuff for ur convenience

cant u do it for me ?

this world is getting darker

sometimes i rather my heart is blind

since it doesnt make any difference

IDOLS

i think u can say i have a weird taste

but seriously i dun look much for appearance

character > looks

especially funny ppl

hmmmmmmm

. . . . . .

ok fine

recently i become a new fan of 黄子华

THROAT

my throat been asking leave from me

not really asking 

nearly died (no kidding)

having fever for 2 days

and well....

the most awesomeness thing that could have happen

just have to happen on that 2 days

mayb i should stop torturing my own body

then it wont keep blinking red light

came so sudden that i got blinded

SELF REMINDER

cherish what myself have now

and stop appreciating what others have

(damn.. seriously what they have is none of my business)

DECISIONS

hardest thing to do

DECIDING

the older we are 

the more responsibilities we have to bear

and it all comes with decision

for someone like me

dunnu what i want

and what i can do

should i listen to others ?

should i listen to my heart ?

should i listen to my brain ?

are my thinking relevant ?

what if it doesnt work ?

am i being too pessimistic ?

ya see...

this is what happen when i try to think

imagine making a decision

how am i suppose to do it ? 

FISHMONGER

pissed off

can u stop being so selfish

can u think in diff views especially for others

wad now 

ur things are things and other ppl's are not ?!

i am really pissed off

IDIOT

回忆

回想起以前做过的事

才发现好没意义

麻烦原来真的都是自己找的

真是无聊

TALK

human nowadays

as long as u know how to talk

talk abt everything

anything u like

without thinking of the consequences

no need of how it will affect other ppl

as long as u can talk as nicely as possible

then u are safe

is that how u think ?

i can tell u one word

just one word

SELFISH

CARI PASAL

Can u pls dun come and cari pasal like

AGAIN ?!!!

why cant u learn from ur mistake ???

pls dun insult the 'existance' of mistake

if u never learn from them then wad is the use of them existing ?!!

so PLS !!!

i am not being concern or wad

cause when u are doing that

u are really making trouble for me

always live in ur own beloved life

never ever care of wad the others think and feel 

STOP CARI PASAL WITH ME!!! 

做莫

又开始发神经了

搞什么emo啊

心里就是好像有一些东西堵着

闷啊～

LIKE ?!

i dun understand..

if u are in a relationship

and u are telling me u dunnu wad is the feeling of liking someone

then why are u in a relationship ?

if u are telling me u dun understand love i can understand

but LIKING SOMEONE ?

u dun know wad is that ?

then stop cheating his feelings

u are making me feeling sorry for him..

whoever that likes u

HELP

人嘛～

总记得坏的多过好的

所以我说

人家需要帮忙时

不需要每次都在

只要在最关键的时候出现

人家可能一辈子都不会忘

sometimes when a person dun appear when u need them the most

everything seems so insignificant

but seriously think back

i have been telling myself this 

when u get really angry of someone

think of wad the person had done for u

mayb u will 

appreciate more

grumble less

但是如果你是帮人的那一个

有时真的会觉得很不值

THUNDERSTORM

suppose to have slept nicely and 

wake up early to do my math revision

thz to yesterday thunderstorm at nite

make me sleep till so late today 

actually rained so heavily last nite

one lightning per 10 seconds

accompanied by loud thunder

scaryyy..............

JUNIORS

cant believe it..

are u serious ???

no juniors are planning to change skool ???

u must kidding

why they are not in their rite mind a ><

having test since last week

last fri i went tuition

the teacher from ssi say:

poor juniors.. u all having test cant orientate them

WAIT

there is no orientation in SSI ???

then why are we doing this ?!

right before exam somemore..

plan and carry out all type of activities 

when we are gonna have exam the next day !!! 

pls la teachers...

can u pls put our academic as priority ???

we come here not for our koko

I NEED TO GET 4 FLAT FOR MY STPM !!!

GET UR FACTS RITE

and dun cause me to waste 2 years of my youth.....

HATE

u...

i am ad 'trying' to regard u as fren ad

u still dare to do this kind of thing

actually wad u do

disgust me sometimes

so pls dun cross the line

TUES

yesterday is like shit

==

morning wake up tired like wad onli

just to go to maths tuition

from morning 9.00 am

to....

12.30 pm

that's bad enuf ad...

the tuition continues at 2.00pm

till 4.00 pm

i am so glad i am still alive ==

even teacher also tired ad..

keep saying last 2 ques la last 2 ques..

in the end he feel bad so teach till 4 also..

haha~

anyway mon nite yx mum cook min hun kueh for me~

then next morning my mum bring me go eat da wan min hun kueh

afternoon i went with jy they all eat min hun kueh

after tuition my bro and mum wanna eat min hun kueh

so now i am min hun kueh ad........

MON

let's start with monday

went out at abt 10.30 and reached home 8.30

counting back.....

WAD ? 10 HOURS ?

mad la me.. haha

onli one place i went

yx house~

kua zhang daoooooooo

that day

laugh like mad pig

no image

(usually got de.. dun show me that 'cheh' face ==)

damn humorous la we all

kena slap again and i forgot why...

kns

have a great meal in the evening~

:)

SENIORS

stpm 2011 results are out

and u wont be able to find SIGS in any newspaper

but i really think it is worth reporting

cause no ppl get 4 flat

(ok thats fine i know)

the most amazing thing is..

the sc class seniors

all of them onli got 1A

JUST ONE

kao....

12 of them 7 failed maths

(not even 50% ?!!!)

and bio the highest is B or B- i cant remember

chem no ppl got A also..

and our bio teacher is like 'i expect 2 A-' lah...

thats really wad she said..

how could u say that ?!

this is wad u gave them..

and those knowledge are just worth 2A- ?!

and onli 2 out of 12 ?

b4 test our chem teacher taught us paper 2

and i asked him why no need do paper 1 de

and u know wad he said ?

why do paper 1 ?!

if u can score paper 2 then can pass ad wad..

so u are just expecting PASS ?!

aren't we suppose to aim for an A which is 80% and above ?

wad kind of thinking u ppl are having now..

i am so confused

the environment i am studying in

this is so wrong....

I JUST PRAY FOR THE BEST NOW

UNBELIEVABLE

let me tell u a story~

so unbelievable

that my sis and bro were shocked when i told them

one very fine day

we were having our pa class in skool

this teacher which is our ketua blablabl form 6

came in and leave us a tonne of hw

then monitor wanted to ask her abt our extra class

(everyday after skool until 3)

we wanted to move the classes to our muet class

since our whole class is not taking the test anymore

but wad she told us is.....

OH.. KALAU MACAM INI

CIKGU TAK BOLEH DAPAT GAJI TAMBAHAN LAH

ATAU KAMU NAK SAYA LETAK SUBJEK YANG LEBIH BERAT

UTK GANTI MUET ?

wow....

funny la u.. u think anyone in the rite mind will say yes ?

anyway

some was shocked and ask teacher we need to pay for the classes ?

(since it was useless and waste time)

then she say yes

fine.. another method to eat money

why u dun go join politics ?

this is still not the main point~

the main point is she start telling us abt the new syllabus

like we not agitated enuf when doing UR HW

the bomb is...

SUSAH LAH SAYA NAK CARI CIKGU UNTUK MEREKA

MEREKA ADA EXAM JUGAK SEMASA KAMU SEMUA STPM

KALAU LEPAS PUNYA BATCH SAYA BOLEH SIMPLY PILIH CIKGU

CIKGU BAIK PADA UPPER 6 SUDAH BOLEH

BATCH BARU INI TAK BOLEH

SUSAH LAH NAK ARRANGE CIKGU...

WTH ?!!!

u know we study like hell last year ?!!!

those shit teachers..

dunnu how to teach then still muka berdua

see her then wan vomit liao

just because we got no important test last year ?!!!

and U ARE TELLING ME THIS ?

RIGHT IN MY FACE

sorry teacher

i dunnu u got no brain

TRIP

this is one of the place they went

WHY I NO GO ?!!

they went to the library

say till like so prettttyyy ><

saw ppl making rayuan at the court somemore

one of the lawyer got scolded

it's so fun !!!

and so cool !!!!

wish i went...

seriously

when can i go for lawatan again ?!

just waste a perfect chance

thanks to my family

all of my classmates come back alive wad..

ISH

***********************************************************************

gonna go to utm this sat

makan my weekend again

from morning till evening somemore

if i wan eat dim sum then sun also have to wake up early liao

sien lo

i am driving but i dun wan fetch u ok

stop giving me that face

i am so shock u din realise i trying to avoid u ad

stop cari pasal with me

even seeing ur face can make me pek cek sometimes

LOVE

i must blog about this !!!

omg....

this is so hard to believe...

u actually tot i was in a relationship ?!!!

are u being serious ?!!

damn funny~~~

hahahahahahaha

TAT'S IMPOSSIBLE ==

********************************************************************

can u guys be more responsible ?

doing all this rubbish is like bad enough ad

stop showing me that kind of face ok

that's ur choice

if u feel guilty or like u are being forced to

then dun do it

u have brain (or mayb not)

SO

stop acting like u are very wei qu

I AM VERY DISGUST WITH UR FACE

this is not the first time ad........

SKOOL

forever alone

AGAIN

hahahaha~

no class because of the pathetic amount of ppl in our class today

JUST 2

ya u din see wrong

ONLI 2

==

so i did my hw until i sien

then i cant online which i dunnu why

when there is wifi and i have my com

i cant connect it

so all i did was

TOOK PICS

i just took pics

for fun....

this are a 'few' pics

i dunnu..

after looking at this pics...

i look like a kid rite ?!!!

do i look like 18 ?!!!

><

ALONE

FOREVER ALONE

今天一个人去游泳了

没有管他安不安全

就只是想静一静

慢慢得漂在水上

看着蓝蓝的天

很舒服

好像什么都不会有事一样

一个人游啊游

忘记时间忘记烦恼

忘记旁边的人

只是听着水声

看着水里的反光

一切就好像静止了

最近哭点又变低了

以为坚强了

还是抵抗不了寂寞

昨晚自己躲在被窝里

放声大哭

想家人 想朋友 什么都想

不过今天好多了

女人啊～

过了一阵子

总是会这样

EDUCATION

i never expect that in my whole life

i would find ppl telling me that education is not important

and now...

I MET 2 now

wad do they mean by

when u start working u can get salary with 5 or 10k meh ?!

well.. i may not at first but i sure will get it someday

when i get enough experience !!!

and if everyone have ur kind of thinking

do u think there will be doctor in this world ?

scientist ?

lawyer ?

accountant ?

and all kinds of profession ?

think abt it..

if u give anyone who can't finish their study a chance to get back to skool

would they wan ?

YES I CAN TELL U

do u think they wanna work so hard just to make a living ?

u can survive without a cert

no one dies in malaysia due to hunger

but why wanna work so hard when u can just put all the effort during ur studies ?!!!

for like just a few years !!!

i cant be rude to u because i am younger

i am still irrational enough

but

CAN U ALSO RESPECT ME AS A STUDENT ?

TRYING TO SUCCEED IN LIFE SUFFERING SO MUCH ?!

honestly..

wadda hell are u thinking ?!!!

if education are not important then

why are parents slogging out all day and nite

just to pay for their children's edu ?!!!

i dun deny having cert onli are not enough

we need skills when we are out in the social

but who the hell in this whole wide world

will give u a glance when u dun even have a damn cert ?!!!

without any chance wad the use of ur skill even if u are better than the professional ?!!!

use ur brain buddy...

when i am trying my best in my studies

there are always some ppl who come and say

u are doing wrong

this isn't going to be worthy

do u know wad i had gone through ?

if wad u said is rite..

why din u tell me when i was in standard one ?!!

then i will just flung all my test and exams

and i wont be studying now !!!

pls dun come to ppl and say wad they are doing their very best is wrong

if i told u that ur profession reaally sucks

and i study because i dun wan to be like u

doing this kind of job

HOW WOULD U FEEL ?

think b4 u talk..

u should be old enough

no need a 18 years old teenager to teach u that

ANGPOW~

tomorrow is officially the last day of cny~

today went to get my last few angpao !!!

haven open and count everything yet

this year all like eng eng like that

no excitement......

the older we get the less enthusiastic we are with all kinds of things

ANYWAY

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !!!

HOPE EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER THIS YEAR !!!!

HUAT AR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***************************************************************************

this is the new purse i got..

as honesty has always been my virtue

rude comes in together

hahahahaha~

i told i wont buy the purse if i saw it :P

okk la~

actually not that bad...

it's cute i dun deny

then i really realise just RECENTLY

nothing suit my style ==

I DUN EVEN KNOW MY STYLE

can't find any bag i like and compatible to my dressing

so ya....

i cant blame u XP

hehehe~

dun blame me also~

i know u love me too much

>/////<

thanks for everything

i using the purse every single day

so when it looks like my ex-purse

i can tell u i make fullest use of it

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

<3 <3 <3

泪

固执于倔强是脆弱的伪装

不管在人面前多么的坚强

我还是赢不了宁静

关上房门 倒在床上

怎么忍耐 泪水还是流了下来

敲门声也只能得到一声‘我要睡觉’的回答

我知道 我不会得到谅解

因为你们根本就不会了解我的委屈

所以我怎么能相信你们

让你们看到我最脆弱的一面

就像大家常说的

打孩子父母心会疼

我回嘴时心里有多么难受你知道吗？

怕你生气不是怕你打我

而是怕你难过的成分更多

可是不管我怎么做 都没有用

第一个孩子 父母疼

唯一一个儿子 父母也疼

最小的孩子 父母更疼

我呢？

偏偏就是最后剩下的一个

你的偏心

我忍很久了

整家人做同样一件事

可以只有我一个被骂

我一直都试着孝顺你

却被你说 长大后 最不孝顺的一定是我

一直坚信着 只要是自己生的 妈妈都爱的信念

我坚持到现在

呵呵～

可笑的是 如果哪句话是真的

我现在可以开始怀疑我是不是你生的

朋友 爱人

在生命中可以只是过客

但家人却永远都是家人

你知道我心有多痛吗？

你知道就因为你是我的家人 我怎么样都无法恨你吗？

你知道我为了这种事哭过多少次吗？

你知道我有多么的努力为了这个家付出吗？

你真的有听到我说的每一句“我爱你”吗？

你知道我在打这短短的文字时哭得有多伤心吗？

GATHERINGS

today's gathering was quite fun

just embarrassing ==

some ppl really dunnu how to jaga image

one nearly push me off the platform

lucky i jump down in time and save myself from embarrassment

or else...

the person no need to walk out of the shop liao...........

some of the secrets are out

everyone except ppl in sigs no 'secret'

WTH ?!!!

dunnu it's called normal or wad...

well i dun deny

I HAD ENOUGH OF GIRL SKOOL

**************************************************************************

bio test passed

chem exp report passed

muet test passed

pa no hw

left maths now..

really....

maths why u like to torture me ?!!!!

i tot u love me last time

T_T why u change so much in form 6 ?!!!

damn sad..

must survive no matter how...

it's too late to regret....

FRIENDS

saw something interesting today..

this is wad it says :

when u are up in life...

ur friends get to know who u are

when u are down in life...

u get to know who ur friends are

well...

it's true

ppl are so hard to understand nowadays

no human can know wad other ppl are thinking

that's where betray comes in

faker...

some ppl may appear like they are kind

loyal

considerate

at the end of the day

they really JUST APPEAR to be like that

i had met a number in my life

my social life isn't good in my whole life

never...

even now~

not that i can't.. just that i dun wan

i may not be the truest me now

but at least it is not against my conscience

some ppl just know how to act..

HOW LOVELY THEY ARE IN FRONT OF MANY PPL !!!

but when they are with closer friend

u will see the difference

they will be hot-tempered

start finding trouble with u

why ? why make friends and make ur close friends disappointed ?

those who are true to u

those who cares for u other than ur family

put urself in their shoes...

worst of all....

when anything happen

everyone seems to help them

just because they tot she was the kindest ppl of all !!!

it is fair ?!!!

got betrayed and i am the bad guy

CAN U UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL ?!!!

"the worst feeling is when someone makes u feel special

then suddenly leaves u hanging and u have to act like u dun care"

after everything...

i will just resign to fate

lazy to explain to everybody

let everything be as it is

just that it hurts inside

especially at night

when u can't find anyone else to share ur happiness

ur gloomy mood and emo-ness

to complain abt everything

to chit-chat

to gossip

even if it has passed for months or years

the memories will never fade....

i had to agree with this statement

sad but it's realistic

something u can't deny after living for a decade

*********************************************************************************

i had to admit i am quite lucky and have found a few...

with this kind of character

they actually can bear me for so long :P

let's hope our friendship never change

no matter how far away we are from each other

FRIENDS FOREVER

:D

ps: i may not be the best kind of friend but i tried to be one FOR U

RECESS

can someone give me a logical reason why student can't stay in class during recess ?

pls enlighten me...

why why why we can't stay in class to do our hw ?

why why why we can't stay when our whole class is there ?

not like our things will get stolen

the whole class is IN THE CLASS

not like our class will get dirty

it never happen and it never will

still even if we dun eat AT ALL we still get the same result

in addition~

THE CANTEEN HAVE NOTHING TO EAT

i am not exaggerating

at least no eatable food without causing all those cirit-birit or muntah-muntah

is found in the canteen

once my friend found hair 'embedded' in the skin of fried chicken

ewwwwww

so disgusting

and the canteen smells.....

can u really bear eating in such environment ?!

i complained because we got scolded

AGAIN

ya i know... AGAIN ==

from another teacher though

everytime come cari pasal with our class

last time she cause monitor

just because the attendance slip was sent to office after the first period

wow~~~

now attendance slip is more important than a human

TEGUR BOLEH LAH KENAPA NAK MARAH MARAH MACAM MONYET ?!

so humiliating lah the way she scold ppl

today still dare to say:

FORM 6 SAYA SUDAH TAK NAK MENGGANGGU

TAPI KAMU SEMUA SEMAKIN MELAMPAU

(owh... staying in class is akin ponteng sekolah or stealing now ?)

INI LAST WARNING..

KALAU SAYA NAMPAK LAGI .. (blablablablablabla)

*blocked my ears*

pls la !!!

the others also stay in their own class wad !!!

who is cari-ing pasal now ?!!!

why onli scold us ?!!!

love us so much is it ?!!!

issshhhhhhhh

************************************************************************************

today is really a tiring day...

class till 3 and house practice from 3.30 to 5.30

i survived with a packet of nasi lemak

in the morning till now..

and i am skipping dinner

already been skipping for few weeks (?!)

someone told me that my stomach gonna be spoiled~

well...

it is ALREADY

so wad's the difference ?

MAD CHEM TEACHER

my chem teacher in skool sometimes look exactly like this

(ps: usually he look more like a bat)

nowadays our stupid timetable changed

causing us to have chem on mon tues and wed

3 PERIODS EACH !!!

dong la the person who make this...

after maths periods who can study so much..

issshhhhh

just wanna highlight why i called him mad...

the reason is he scolded us today..

it sounds normal.. rite..

but FOR NO REASON

WHY SCOLD PPL FOR NO REASON LA~

WHO IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WILL REMEMBER

ALL THE DEFINITIONS OF THERMOCHEMISTRY ?!!!

EVEN IF WE READ B4 U COME IN I STILL WONT REMEMBER RITE !!!

OMG~~~~~~~

he even call us one by one to ans his definitions

i was the first one he called (kns)

asking me definition of entalphy of some crap

then one by one we stand..

start saying we dun respect him cause many of them went toilet when he came in

(tell me is there anything wrong with going toilet ?! or he expect us to tahan for 3 periods ?!!!)

blablablablablabla he went~~~

say we go tuition we dun act like this...

(ps: if u are our tuition teacher u will be dead suffering from heart attack)

have u ever wonder why we go tuition ?

think we have too much time after skool ?

reaching home after 7 is like real fun ?

we listen to u when u dun teach well is respect

we get good grades when u dun teach well shows that we study

shouldn't u appreciate that rather then being angry just because THEY went toilet ?!

i still wont call this mad usually

i will just call this being unusually hot-tempered

but see our interactions the day b4

********************************************************************************

*discussing abt our R&D project (UTM)

Me: teacher ! u live in taman u rite ? if we eat near there u can belanja ma ?

Him: .............. (speechless)

The others: we as student need to save money la teacher.....

Him: or u wan me to ask my wife cook for u all ?

All: (shocked) serious ?!!!! we ok one u know teacher !!!!

Him: (more shocked) *showing the ops face

Friend A: teacher ! ur wife cook nice or not de ?

Him: not nice a ! everytime i eat i vomit

Friend A: nvm la teacher ! we were taught not to choose food since young.. we can help u eat~

Him: this is really a bad idea... == i go back and ask my wife la.. sure wont tell her it's my idea

All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

***************************************************************************

SEE

I TOLD U HE IS MAD

OR MAYB THE DAY B4 IS HIS TWINS

.....................i wonder.................

JUST DIARY

i realise that time can do anything

it can help u to forget

to get used to adapt

and to heal

things are getting back to normal

i just gonna act like nothing happen

and pray that that's the best solution !

_________________________________________________________

i REALLY REALLY REALLY

dun understand...

WHY I CANT GO TO THE CLASS TRIP ?!!!

WHY ?!!!

WEIY ?!!!

i am like 18 and the whole family are still worried abt my safety...

== wadda

if i am not studying form6

i would be in KL now

if it's about study then i can go there ALONE la !!!

wad ?!!!

study is more important than safety

this is so damn ridiculous

ughhhhh

look at those teachers' faces

as if it's my fault

telling me where they are going to enjoy themselves

astro la~

jungle trekking~

victoria institution~

klcc~

chocolate factory~

and FIREFLIES~

walao just stop tempting me ok !!!

seriously...

I WANNA GO BUT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO

WTH

life's unfair

i know but i just can't help complaining

especially when it happens so often

do u understand the feeling when u do something with good intention

and all u get is scolding and complaints and blablablablaba...

pls !!!

i wasn't waiting for that reaction !!!

don't u know ppl prefer to be appreciated rather than being blamed FOR NOTHING ?

have u even consider my feeling ?!

it wasn't even my responsibilities !!!

it's really tiring

i had enough

same cheerful mask for like a decade ad

acting like it's nothing but everything inside is crumpling

onli tears in my own room

wish there's really someone i can talk to

mayb it's all my own prob

not being able to trust ppl much more

being so not friendly

being super self-conscious

plain stupid but i just cant help it

CNY

cny passed liao !!!!!
wad should i do ?!!!
no more looking forward for holidays...
hate skool...
sien... ==
haiz....

still prefer wasting time during hols than living to my fullest ==

去年~

所谓的去年就是前天（因为过了12点）
前天呢是我生日嘛。。。
呆呆的我也没蹦蹦跳跳的去跟家人要礼物~
早上没什么胃口
就只喝了一杯milo
直到傍晚。。。
我哥受不了才叫我去找我的礼物 ==
原来就一直放在门口
哈哈哈哈~ 超笨蛋