RESULTS

results coming out soon

scary la 

this fri then march d

so should be in few weeks time

pls dun come out when i am in tw !!!

>< 

so this fri got edu fair in singapore

dunnu who i should go with

wad kind of course should i search for ?

hmmmmm

IN BIG TROUBLE

NO FORCING

seriously no forcing ?

why cant i feel it

u keep telling me to take med

and i have been telling u i dun wan it

then u ask me why 

well...

i told u i wasn't interested

and u ask me why again

because i am not interested !!!

is there a reason why u are not interested in something ?

so i told u straight in the face

even if i do go

i am not doing it cause i wanted to help ppl

or some noble reasons

then u ask me

then why are u gonna study that if that is not the reason

CAUSE U PPL WANTED ME TO

CAUSE IT IS UR DREAM

AND U KEEP TELLING ME LIKE I NEED TO FULFILL IT FOR U

LIKE I HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO 

AND U TELLING ME THIS IS NOT FORCING

U PPL MAKE IT SOUND LIKE SO EASY

LIKE NOT A BIG DEAL

LIKE I AM SUPPOSE TO DO IT

LIKE IF I DIN I LET EVERYONE DOWN

i never said all this out

but i nearly cried thinking this in my mind at that moment

do ppl really think it is real easy

to study it?

to not being pressure when i am doing it ?

to memorise the whole stack of anatomy or wadever book ?

and even if i graduate successfully

to face the patient's family when they are completely depending on u when they are helpless and perhaps hopeless ?

to face the rest of my life doing something i dun like ? 

i am the one facing it

i am the one living my life

i really dun understand

dun understand 

and never ever will

PUNCTUALITY

cant stand this whole gonna b late thingy soon

punctuality is like the most basic 'manners'

being late is like so impolite

and there u go

always late no matter when and where

it's amazing how consistent it can b la

if u arranged a gathering

then set a time u can reach in time

wth is the use of saying a time

when u add a 'i am gonna b late' kind of thing behind

just tell me wad time u arriving la !!!

oh please

being so annoyed 

because i am always the one waiting

masa itu emas, tau ?

and the price of gold is like increasing rapidly nowadays

GROWN UP

just two years

but why do i feel like so old 

nothing seems to affect me tat much like last time 

seeing things much peacefully

nothing can agitate me that much

mayb a little :P

no more those idol feelings

no more crying in the middle of nite

just going through life with no much feeling

is it a good thing ?

or i should b a little more enthusiastic in everything ?

is it a maturing process ?

a growing up thing ?

thinking back those days in convent

makes me feel i wasn't really an adult back then

so immature

but things were simple

easier to b satisfied and happier

so mayb being immature wasn't such a bad thing X)

ps: everyone become so pretty except me... haizzzzzzz

PESSIMIST

a typical one

till now haven found anyone like me

i dunnu wad is a blessing in disguise

i just look at the present

and say OH DAMN SHIT

and think that future is shitter

thats wad happening now

worse still

i cant stand making myself more miserable

so i cause trouble for others

hmmmm

some ppl call this straight-forward

speaking out our mind

and well everyone tells u it's a good thing

"WOW u are not fake !!!"

"u are being urself !!!"

YEAH RITE

then why are u shunning away

when i say wad i doesnt want in my view

arent i suppose to be protecting myself

when nothing gets into ur way

u gladly use me

when i just voicing out a tiny bit of opinion

u giving that kind of look

i am the one thinking too much ?

wad i am saying is reasonable

not that u will lost anything

just make sure everyone gets their best thing

since i can cooperate with u

doing stuff for ur convenience

cant u do it for me ?

this world is getting darker

sometimes i rather my heart is blind

since it doesnt make any difference

IDOLS

i think u can say i have a weird taste

but seriously i dun look much for appearance

character > looks

especially funny ppl

hmmmmmmm

. . . . . .

ok fine

recently i become a new fan of 黄子华

THROAT

my throat been asking leave from me

not really asking 

nearly died (no kidding)

having fever for 2 days

and well....

the most awesomeness thing that could have happen

just have to happen on that 2 days

mayb i should stop torturing my own body

then it wont keep blinking red light

came so sudden that i got blinded

SELF REMINDER

cherish what myself have now

and stop appreciating what others have

(damn.. seriously what they have is none of my business)